Dust

They are on a journey
To a better world
I say, I will come, and I will help.

Dust, it chokes me.
Thick, or is it thin?
It is another entity entirely,
Corrupting my thoughts
Filling my gasping throat

It's so hot
It burns my gentle soles
Its softness is disingenuous
Soft like a flame
Or a jellyfish

I'm crawling now
My lily limbs, filthy
My well spoken breath, rasping
Trying to ride my knowledge like a broken bicycle


But they,

Their way is clear
Straight backed, they are indestructible,
Dirt hidden by ebony,
Voices tuneless, but clear, true

I call them back, my broken voice
Pleading my superior theology
Questioning our direction, how can they know?
They say they trust their feet

Soon, they are long gone
And now, I am on my knees, to the god I don’t believe in
Precious energy wasted on my words
My horizon, blotched by unanswered questions.

I thought I would show them the way
But they follow a map I cannot read
And they have a guide who isn't me
And I am the one who is lost.

Standing

I'm melting.
My sins flow
through my legs comes ink, despair, an ocean
Like the gentle tug on a fickle tide
you tease them out

And with them, me
my most precious thoughts,
my hopes, my past
the colours, the pigments of my mind,
drip, drip, slow

And then i am standing,
my feet wet, puckering
Then i am standing
Empty, a shadow
and then i am standing
sort of.

Finding

I shall use you.
        I will scrape at your skin
and bite off your lips
          swallow your spit
and break bones in your hips
          Take the love from your heart
and the light in your eyes
            suck the blood from your veins,
and as you demise, i will look through your soul
                                    for a clue there might be..
because i'm fucking you because i'm finding me.

Tar Heart

My Cigarette is like my heart
Any flame can light it,
but unless you suck it it stops, dies out
and stinks.
If you keep sucking it, it stays alight
but with each lungful of smoke the love becomes less

and then it is,
the filter
the bit that allowed my heart to love you
the love is gone, but the mouth piece stays
and then you, it's you that throws it away
and no one can light it, they don't even try
and it rots

Simple Says

My hair is blown in tangles
By the winds of change
Simple says that summer
Is to be sweet and strange
A lover’s hand,
Forbidden bliss
The chemical tang in
impulsive kiss

Smoke blooms like roses
Against black skies
Echoes of laughter
Wide, wide eyes
Their dark silhouette
My head is a blur
His head moves forward
Forward towards her

My hair is torn in tangle
By the winds of change
Simple says that summer
Is to be sweet and strange

Us

We were children, thick as thieves
Grown together, a clattering duologue on silent hills
Tripping, laughing, rarely talking
Heads tipped to the sun.

Through the scattered trees we wove,
Armed with sticks, for savage beasts would graze
On wetted fields, take care

We had our guns, and we were fearless!
Our weapons gripped tight, as the light softly fell,
Knees bent. Long grass, tickled my nose.

At school we were strangers, boy and girl,
In mutual acceptance of unspoken boundaries
From school we trudged, ten paces apart

But then, past that street, friends left behind
Our eyes would meet, and we were together
So young, back gardens stretched out forever
Or we’d just lie silent, too hot to run round
And I’d pick the flowers grown up from the ground.

Angry

I’m so angry with you
I’m angry with the very curve of your skull
The very soles of your feet

Every blemish angers me
Once adornments, I want to erase them
Erase you
I want to pull out every strand of hair
Scratch the very crux of your heart

I’m so angry with you
Your slow smile like venom I’ll smack it off your face
And so it will continue, this dance of lust and fury

for i know you'll never give in
and i know i'll never win

Fool

Well, that’s it then.
You’re probably dead
After,  like the last supper,
You devoured me.

Should i call, if you don’t?
SENSE says no never,
Says i should do something constructive
And get washed or dressed.

I hope you are dead
For then your absence is enforced
Not a preference, a heartsore
Not rejection,  a loss

I would go to your funeral
Tears would glisten on my cheeks
And i’d be a “tragic picture”,
Beautiful, resigned

You left me your silence
Wrapped in  green ribbons
Of false hope, denial
Naivety
Fool.

Heartbreaker

The Heartbreaker is a new and not so welcome name.
It’s always been a weakness of mine, the belief that people broke easily
Just because I did
Handling their hearts likethe precious Japanese china that you always have on display
Undoubtedly ugly, undoubtedly deserving
Clashing with my design

During our time, anguished lovers eyes as I broke the news
Plagued my nightmares, haunted my day times
A type of vanity perhaps.
I never did it, they always did. I, who thought me so beloved,
Always wore the faces I would not assign them,
Easier for me to feel grief than guilt.

And now the only one
The one with the truest, most deserving heart
Is the one I have chosen to break the pattern,
And when I was as beloved as I wanted to be
Turned out it wasn’t enough for me.

Something

Your words fall, like raindrops
Soft, heavy, they glide, worthless
Over my eyes, between my lips
Sweet, warm, poison
I taste them.

Lovely, there is no other word
Yours hands smell of cinnamon
My palms pull away, deliciously seasoned
My fingers, shake, where you touch
I feel them

Your eyes, naked desire,
Molten, languid, Like a storm
Passion wells, and spills
They pull me close
I see them

And your lips,
Biting, probing
If nothing else, give me the lips
Tongue slips, hot, wet
Inside my mouth
I melt.

Worth

You were always nomadic, barely there
The essence of your presence was sweet, slight
Like the smell of autumn frost
Or river water

I’ve been looking for that scent
Bottles and potions litter the room
Where I’ve tried to recreate it,
Eliminate the stench of your absence.

You left me nothing, did you?
Not even your favorite shirt to cry into
I didn’t eat for days when you left
To keep in my mouth the salt from your skin

One day you will walk in
Probably with a head full of stories and adventures
And we will make love in the same bed, with different sheets
And I know, I know it’ll be worth everything.